Common App

This just got real…

When I first stepped on campus as a freshman in high school, my senior year felt so far away. The worries of applying to colleges and scholarships among other things was a such a long time from then. And yet, I will never forget my first day of high school when I broke down into tears. I truly believed that high school would be too difficult for me, that I’d fail early on and ruin my chance at a bright future. To this day, I still don’t know why I thought that way. But at the time, this was very much a real concern.

So, I inundated myself with research.

“How to get straight-A’s in high school”

“How to develop a spike on your college application”

“Stats that got me into my dream school”

“How to get a 1500+ on the SAT”

“How to show demonstrated interest”

“You need to start a passion project”

“Things you should NOT write about in your personal statement”

“How to write the perfect college essay”

I taught myself everything there was to know about the college admissions process. As I viewed the stats of other students, doubts crept into my mind on just how successful I’d actually be. It was like everyone else had some prestigious award, done research with a college professor, published a bestselling novel, participated in national competitions and championships, started a non-profit organization, and so many other, crazy accomplishments and activities. For the most part, I do not have that kind of access.

I started to look at my circumstances and began to convince myself that I wouldn’t succeed in college admissions due to my relatively tiny school and lack of rigorous courses offered, humble background, and average extracurriculars. I thought that my finances would be a barrier to higher education. I looked to the state of our country and thought that maybe I just won’t be able to go to college. Truly, the only thing I thought I had going for me was my grades.

You’re reading that right. The existential crisis I had at the beginning of high school was for absolutely nothing. Classes were a breeze and I fought to keep my grades in tiptop shape (straight-A’s, 4.0+ GPA, blah blah blah). Overtime, I found my footing and my voice. Extracurriculars became and less and less of a problem for me.

I almost felt like everything was going to be okay.

Fast forward to August 1, 2025, just four days ago (as I’m writing this), the Common App officially opened. I waited until midnight like it was New Year’s Eve or something. As the clock hit midnight, a wave of emotion came over me as I realized this is really it. My golden ticket, the quintessential senior year experience, and the beginning of the rest of life right there, on my iPad, illuminating my room.

My senior year hasn’t even begun yet and I find myself in a frenzy. It feels like all of my prior accomplishments, my intelligence, and my faith in myself completely dissipated. Suddenly, my stats look less than mediocre, my life not interesting enough, and I still have no clue what to write about in my college essay. I feel stuck.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way either. It’s quite the shock when I open TikTok to doomscroll only to see students like me speedrun their college applications just to get it over with. People have been calling August 1st doomsday, me included. It’s overwhelming.

I feel like I’m nearly in a state of paralysis and I don’t know how to proceed.

Being a perfectionist and a procrastinator doesn’t help either. Of course, I ran far ahead of my procrastination by creating my Common App account a year in advance and filling in all my basic information. At the time, I felt like I was doing something. But now, I can’t help but wonder if it made any difference at all. I feel like I’ve been sprinting before the race even started and have suddenly hit a brick wall.

I try to comfort myself with the mantra “rejection is redirection.” At the end of the day, I know that I’ll end up where I belong. Usually when I stress about things, everything works out in the end. I can only hope that I can say the same about this. I don’t have much words of comfort for anyone reading this who may be going through the same thing I am. Honestly, I don’t know what to write about next.

What I do know is that my hard work won’t go to waste. My efforts won’t go unnoticed. And, yours won’t either.

I’m not sure what the future holds for me, and honestly, that makes me very anxious. But, I’m going to try to take this one day at a time and pray that the past four years weren’t in vain.